BILL of No RIGHTS
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell
"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetter’s... We
hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by
the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing you anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may
leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the
world is full of idiots, and probably always will be ... and like the rest of us
you need to simply deal with it.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool
manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are
the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but
we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health
care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the
rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
won't have the right to a big screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms or a
life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard
times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of part time
jobs, education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to PURSUE happiness --which by the way, is a lot easier if
you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you
who were confused by the Bill of Rights,"
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are
from. We welcome you here. English is our language and like the one you left
behind, we also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the country and the
living conditions you were fleeing.